365 Days With A Food Allergy

 The single most popular statement of observation Food Allergy (FA) parents hear is how hard it is for others to understand our predicament. That's a prickly feeling to hear to be honest. Probably because FA parents live and breath food allergy thoughts around the clock, so it becomes unfathomable to think others haven't given them a single one. It seems absurd that with peanut-free schools and planes, and with growing story-lines about anaphylactic reactions to food in the news, that this is just a completely foreign conversation, or that the mind has never wandered there. A problem for just us FA parents alone to be concerned with? That we need to understand why others don't give it a thought or bother to care, however, it's irrational that we expect that they do care? That as a nation we're more concerned that our children have freedom of food choices than safety of foods and food labeling. Ignoring that the cause of this growing food allergy epidemic is still un...

Seeking out the responsible culprits causing allergic reactions is an all encompassing role as a FA parent.  When your child is touch allergic in addition to ingestion and airborne exposures the speculations are greater. I cannot count how many times my little one has had an allergic reaction to something unknown to us, leaving us to retrace every movement we've made.  Could something be on the neighbors ball that we just played together with? Could it be something in the rubber on the balloon? Maybe something on the outside of a plastic grocery bag that a grocery clerk transferred proteins to after touching others people's milk items first? Did someone wear their shoes in our home and leave residual milk proteins somewhere? Where is this invisible milk protein lingering so we can clean it or avoid it?! It's a perpetual feeling that you didn't think of "everything" and you let your child down. We really do think of things on a microscopic level, and that's...

Perusing through blogs and FaceBook posts I see the tug of war amongst food allergy parents. It ranges from "put your kid out there in everything and let them live life" vs. "hold on to them cautiously and monitor them closely". I've heard comments like "it's in God's hands", or "you can't expect others to change". To start my thought,  I have an inexplicable respect for any parent who manages Food Allergies in a world so content on supporting the wrong end of the cause. I think that the tug of war comes from the social frustrations accompanying our lack of control and trust in society. Frustration that we aren't going to be able to control things so we have to give up a little of that control and put responsibility on others. By doing this you are allowing a little room for error and therefore leaving the control in "God's hands". An example of this invisible trust is sending your kids to school and trusting o...

A Little Food Allergy Etiquette  I would imagine that being in unfamiliar territory around a person with a life threatening food allergy is about as awkward as it is having one. There is always an ambiguity about what the expectations are, and if you're willing to work with them. My experience is that most people do not want to be a part of any accountability for themselves or their children, so our greatest struggle in our unique roles as FA (food allergy) parents has been consistency with relationships. It's a constant struggle between trying your hardest to make social settings work, and throwing your hands in the air with frustration toward others.  So what is food allergy etiquette? It's all about honesty, communication and compassion. FA parents plan ahead for everything, so there are very little allergen loopholes that can arise if you're communicating with us. The goal is to keep our children plugged in socially without making them feel inadequate for circumst...

Most people who learn about our daughter's "condition" look at us with pity. They say "poor Sophia", "what do you all eat?", "how can you do anything", etc. It's an understatement to express how much I dislike that type of mindset. Our daughter is healthy, happy, and well-adjusted to her sense of self, compassion to others, and her young, but moral compass. Although her allergy presents a great number of obstacles, it's also a constant reminder of how precious our lives are. That really has been the greatest blessing for my family. We don't just go through the motions -we feel and connect our way through everything.  The fact of the matter is that Sophia's well-being is 100% dependent on the environments she is subjected to, and we all contribute to that. She is so so aware of this fact that she, her 4-year-old self, is conscientious to others needs in return.  People choose to think everything not about them is someone else...

Perspective is Everything-- Here's Mine: For my family, our milk allergy journey has presented two things to know: Where's the milk contamination (so we can avoid it), and Learning to understand how to live milk-free, and find the foods we need.   Once we figure out the what and the where, we Have to figure out who. Who can understand our life and/or is capable of "getting it", and who do we need to avoid to keep our daughter's life safe? These (really) three components provide the tools needed to parent a child with life threatening airborne, touch, AND ingestive reactive food allergy. With our daughter's severe allergy, everyone in our household plays by the same rules. They're real simple: NO cows milk allowed...ever!  We've learned that foods are rarely what they claim to be. We're eons beyond being sold by fancy labels and false claims. Some brands mention cross contamination - some don't (even though the 15 million Americans with a food...

It's been a while, but I'm back to share some things I've learned on my year long documented journey as a parent of a child with a life threatening food allergy to milk proteins.  I truly do not understand why there is resistance to learning about food allergies. If someone were to tell you that your x-y-z could harm them, or their child, why wouldn't you stop? When I was a kid the x-y-z was smoking. Second hand smoke itself was proven to be bad for us so the smoking public resisted changing and defended their right to smoke, while the non-smokers reasonably defended their right to breathe. Inevitably, the well being of all prevailed by limiting smoking opportunities in public areas that could negatively affect others.  The difference is we aren't talking about possibly getting cancer later in life from another's actions, we're talking about going into anaphylactic shock in 5 minutes because of another's action. I completely understand the unaware indi...